Month 3 hits & now I'm having a harder time. Bad news from family seems never-ending (my moms health mainly), I had to quit my nanny job, & some other stuff...it all just came at me & the demands of the world just started to weigh on me more than I could handle. A straight week of bad news & freak-outs & by that Friday I couldn't breathe normally & all I could hear is my dad yelling at me, "Do what you need to do to calm down! Do whatever you need to relax!" Easy to say to someone who is having an anxiety attack. My one thought was, "I need to get out of here." My default is to run if you know me at all, so I made myself stay & deal. A few days of dealing & I realize I do need some time away. So, I get on my computer that very late Monday night & I have a message from my old friend, Tatum saying to visit her @ the beach. Wow!  I haven't seen this girl in 3 years but this is truly a God thing & I leave the next day. I went with the intent of having a retreat & the prescription was ‘Rest & Seek God'. Boy, it was fantastic. The challenge, "Can you for just 9 weeks, LET-GO of everything in your life & just see what God has to show you!?" GOD, YES I CAN! The burden of trying to fix things, other peoples situations, my situations, is sooo tiring! 

 

First-time seeing my oldest friend Michelle and Will since being gone.

 

Well, that was the beginning of August & since getting back, I have been trying to be Faithful & not hold onto things or people too tightly. It is a hard thing to do but a necessary thing. The more I learn about God, His Character, how He works & how He truly wants the best for me, has the best for me, I know I can trust Him. HE IS A GIVER, NOT A TAKER. For years I have always in my heart of hearts, in my darkest dark, I have believed the opposite was true of God for me. The lie that He IS A TAKER, NOT A GIVER...I know it's not true. The Good News alone & the inheritance I have in Christ declares He has & He gives. 

 Best-friend Bekah and I @ Niffers rehearsal

 

To end, even though I have gotten another job, a much better one which I love (Shift Manager @ Starbucks...crazy), I am even more convinced that nothing on earth will ever satisfy. A great job, a secure income, a nice car, fun friends, complements from guys, or even a beautiful iced grande triple non-fat caramel macchiato (yes, even that!) can never satisfy the heart. This is my last blog...it's kinda sad but a mark of a new season in my life that I thought you would want to hear about. Thanks for reading the blogs & your prayers over the past year of my life. I'm sorry it has taken me 3 months to write the finale. The blurps below are bits of every blog I wrote on the Race. It is a quick trip down memory lane & it shows just how far God has taken me. Byes =)  **Ecclesiastes 3:1-8** 

 

 KARA (FACE DONKEY), ME, STEPH (MISS KINDLE), and SHANDA (FELLOW CHOCOHOLIC)

 

 "...It was as if God had lifted my chin up in just the right moment to see wings spanned wide.  A "Hello." moment from God Himself...The stronghold of pain is like an unwelcomed friend. & when darkness is all you're familiar with, it's hard to see what God wants to show you..."Why are you carrying this burden for someone that would never carry it for you?"...You see, my dinner table was that table. Those young women are three of the most important people to me. My best friends...I was in the car driving up to Boone w/2 friends (Marcy & Seth) for the concert event & Seth & I were talking & it kind of went something like this:  Do you have a sleeping bag?  No.  Do you have tent?  No.  Do you have hiking boots?  No...As I was going thru the security line my mom kept yelling out for the entire airport to here. She yelled out things like, "Don't forget to eat." & "Be safe."   Others in line were laughing, smiling as they thought I was probably 18 & it was the first time I was leaving home...I saw the doctor today & after poking my stomach & drawing blood, he ruled that it isn't Typhoid but a bacterial infection...For instance, giving away my tasty coconut bar when I just want to keep it to myself, washing out someone's' Nalgene even though I just want to finish my book, carrying my team members junk even though my back may hurt...Every night, these 2 kids are put to work on the city streets...We had some amazing people who helped put this event on (Grace Apostolic Prayer Ministries, YWAM, & a married couple who happen to be missionaries here). & somehow, I was in charge of it.  To head up my own project was so exciting...Do I love all my loves--all this--more than God?...We loved traveling on her birthday!  I think it made it easier to say goodbye to Antigua...I woke up again in the middle of the night w/shooting pains in my stomach. The pains came & went for days. My roommates covered me in prayer & hung verses all along the walls, even on the ceiling, just for me! (Vietnam)...Going on the World Race is not a remedy in itself to teach you how to live the "Good Christian Life". It is what God asked me to do, to show me more of Himself...After visiting & talking with the Temple keeper, I realized how many false teachers there have been in the past, who will say anything & if it's convincing enough, people will follow...I still have a long way to go...this is month five & I have 6 more to go!...The motto of the party, "To keep you is no benefit.  To destroy you is no loss."...After Krystle & I shared our testimonies, our team put on a Drime & something happened that night.  After the event, Roni decided she wanted to become a Christian!...For Christmas, our squad received the news that we would be not be going to South Africa for the month but to London, England...With some physical therapy & love, she slowly gained something amazing called HOPE...EVERY SINGLE NIGHT WE HAD TO TEACH BIBLE STUDY!...I yelled what I could in Mandarin, telling him hello & that God loved him...Instead of hitting those old men (which I really wanted to do), all I could do was yell, "JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!!!"...Not even an hour into our trip did the bus break down...The town which we lived in for a couple weeks, is also home to the longest man-made wooden bridge in the world!...Bethany & I spent almost every day together while I was there & we had so much fun!  She & Mon were great encouragements to me & we just enjoyed the brief friendship God was bringing along!...I cleaned more than I ever have in my entire life!  & with color-coated cleaning supplies!...I left my home, my family, my friends, chopped off my hair, sold my car, all to go off on a pilgrimage, seeing the world with a bunch of strangers, carrying my home on my back.  What was I thinking?...We went morning until night helping out at one of AIM's Care points, doing health assessments & playing with hundreds of children, everyday...We moved 24 children & the orphanage site in just one day!...I sat in the seat crying at 1:30 AM b/c my home that I lived in, carried on my back for over 9 months, was now gone in the middle of Africa. The sentimental stuff was gone. My journal, notes from friends, Christmas cards, & my most prized possession--a picture of my grandma & grandpa that I had all my life...to the historical city called, Tirgu Mures.  We will be here for the rest of the month along with Shanda (from team Pi) & the Bruce's (from team BOLD)...The "old" in my life took so long to be put aside & The cloud that has been over me for the past two years is FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY GONE!!!...Then I think, when one does not know what Grace is, how can one understand it or be conscious of its' existence?...being that my time on the Race is almost kaput!  (3 DAYS LEFT)..." 

 

 

P. S. I LOVE & MISS YOU WRACE PEOPLE! HUG!

P. S. S. I LOVE & MISS YOU G;RACERS. YOU BLESSED ME MORE THAN YOU KNOW. LONG HUG!

Which then turned into a quiet thought which then turned into a quiet word

& then that word grew louder & louder, until there was a battle cry

 I'll come back when you call me

No need to say GOODBYE

Just because everything is cHaNgInG, doesn't mean that it's never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

 As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon & follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say GOODBYE

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say GOODBYE

Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling & no one knows yet

But, just because they can't feel it too, doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger & stronger until there before your eyes

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say GOODBYE

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say GOODBYE"

 

This song has been on my mind for awhile. I first heard it in Antigua, Guatemala after watching The Chronicles of Narnia with my team which was month two of the Race. It is now month ten. I have exactly forty days left.

                Forty days before I left on the Race, I can remember sitting in Espresso News (a great coffee shop) in good old Boone, NC enjoying a cup of coffee. It was May & I was busy raising support. Life was crazy. I was working, moving, saying goodbye (I HATE goodbyes) & now...well, the World Race is almost over. & lately, these thoughts keep running through my head:

                Aside from the inevitable ending of this great season in my life, since coming off the Ride of Misery I have learned a lot & changed more than I even realized up until now. During are debrief in Bucharest, God started confirming a new season is coming in my life, new things, good things.

"He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." Romans 8:11

You see, this is a promise from God to His people. He promises something NEW. The "old" in my life took so long to be put aside & The cloud that has been over me for the past two years is FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY GONE!!! Who knew that going thru Zimbabwe would have changed my life!?! While there, I noticed I was doing really good but was not ready to believe it entirely. Yes, in Malawi I loved running around from 6 AM to plant churches & preach all day, but when night time came, we all crashed. I did not have free time to do or think much else than ministry. 

By the time I made it to Romania, so much of my healing was evident by my team, my squad, my coaches, & my dad. I was the stubborn one who was last to "get-it". It did not actually hit me until I was talking about this with my dad over Skype. He just said, "Well, if it isn't broken, you don't need to fix it." Those were the best words to hear =) There is nothing more to fix.

"Happy are those who are strong in the Lord." Psalm 84:5

So, I have been happy, blessed, & full of joy since Malawi. This is not a black & white change, but a transformation into the Kira that I used to be.  

 

Intro:  We arrived in Malawi after a 58 hr bus ride from S. Africa.  The ride consisted of over 20 check-points, 35 bathroom stops (many in the bush), yelling at the drivers to shut the Combi door & not let any of the strange men that were trying to get into our van, 3 border crossings, 2 nights sleeping in the Combi, 3 stolen bags, mobs of men, driving thru a rally, searching for bribe money to pay-off the "tickets" we were getting at every stop, & passing thru a recent car crash involving the prime minister & his wife, where the police-man yelled at us to go back home where we came from. 

The Story:  We left Nelspruit, South Africa at 9:30 AM when the first disaster hit.  Here is what Maithili wrote about the trip:

"Things were going quite well, until about two thirds of the way to the South Africa/ Zimbabwe boarder when the tire of our luggage trailer nearly fell off. The frame was bent to about a 60 degree angle. So we waited on the side of the road for about 2 hours while that got fixed."

Now, it was dark & we needed to get back on the road soon.  As usual when we stop, someone has to firmly inform the driver he must stay with the Combi & not wander off or go to sleep (yes, they wander off & go to sleep).  So, we quickly filled-out the necessary paperwork, gave them our passports, & got back in the van ready to go.  Hours later, the drivers were ready to go.  It takes the drivers hours to find paperwork, the permit, & get anything done!  This was not a surprise to us since we had planned on leaving for Malawi on the 4 & it was now the 6.  The drivers were 46 hours late to pick us up).

It was here that our packs were stolen.  We were waiting in the car, trying to pull out around a mega-bus, when a man tried to get in our van.  The drivers were telling us to let him ride saying to us to, "Just feel with your heart", while behind us his team of robbers where cutting open the robe that tied the tarp down on the trailer, & taking our packs.  It was dark, rainy, past midnight, & many men were all around the van.  It was not good.  Maithili said, "no" to the drivers & they just kept negotiating with her while we kept trying to shut the door (there was no lock on it & the stranger could open it up anytime he wanted).  I looked at him & his backpack & a fear hit me, he could have a weapon on him.  I firmly said, "No, shut the door now, we are leaving."  Finally, they listened & we drove off. 

We did not realize our packs were gone until later down the road.  I sat in the seat crying at 1:30 AM b/c my home that I lived in, carried on my back for over 9 months, was now gone in the middle of Africa.  The sentimental stuff was gone.  My journal, notes from friends, Christmas cards, & my most prized possession--a picture of my grandma & grandpa that I had all my life.  I can never get that back.  The material things were gone.  My tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, clothes, a cell phone, toiletries, shoes, etc. all gone.  People say, "Good thing is, it is just stuff." or "It can be easily replaced." or "It's not a big deal." are not the best things to hear at a time like this.  All that belongings, were not just stuff.  I had gifts, I had mementos.  & it can't be easily replaced & it is a big deal to me.  I live on a missionary's budget.  I do not have the money to replace $2,000 worth of gear & other possessions that kept me warm, dry, & clean.  This is what was running thru my mind & we still had another day & a half of traveling to go.

By the next morning, I wake up to someone yelling, "Leave Zimbabwe Now!  Go back to South Africa where you came from!"  Our driver had apparently been speeding & the officer at the road block was not letting us get by.  On the side of the road was a car flipped over & there were police-men everywhere.  We were just at the scene of a major car wreck where the prime minister of Zimbabwe & his deceased wife were just hours earlier.  They were cracking down on anyone speeding b/c they just lost someone dear to their country.  Numerous times the drivers tried to get by & they would not let us pass.  Then this happened:

"This actually turned into a God moment as through lots of prayer and a couple hour wait in our car, Krystal felt in her heart that we should go offer to pray from the Prime Minister and the situation. We did so and God softened the heart of the Police Officer and we were allowed to pass through. Praise the Lord!"

Eventually, we made it to the Mozambique border just before they closed.  However, it took them a long time to stamp the passport, pass to another person, write, pass to another person, stamp, pass to another person, peel off a sticker, put on the sticker, pass to another person, stamp again...Tara S. even tried to help them by applying to be their "Personal Stamper & Sticker Peeler".  Then this happened:

"By the time we got our passports back, our van being on the other side of the barrier, the police officer tried to tell us that "the boarder is closed, you go sleep over there." Calming the furry mounting in some of us, Tara, one of our gifted communicators talked with the police officer while we just walked across to the van disregarding what the Police officer said."

We drove all night long.  The road was filled with trenches that you had to almost come to a stop to in order to go over with-out losing the trailer.  He would speed up after going over it, and then suddenly brake, causing us to fling forward in our seats when he came up on another one.  I would wake up constantly throughout the night because of that & the numerous times I could not feel my legs.  The best position I could get into was curling up on my seat & half the seat next to me, lifting my legs up on top of the seat in front of me or resting them on the window of the sliding door.  The problem with the last position is that was that when the door would open, I would fall out of my seat. 

We arrived at the Mozambique/Malawi border at 1 AM.  We slept there until 6 AM.  It took hours because it was here that they took all the packs off the trailer & searched them.  It was kind of fun seeing the face the officer as I handed my slip of paper to him which declared nothing.  He asked me, "You don't have any luggage?"  I said "nope" & just walked off.

We were expected to arrive in Lilongwe at 1 PM.  The drivers kept telling us, "Just one more hour." & we would be there.  We did not make it to the capital until after dark.  Once in the city, we climbed out of the Combi for the last time & greeted Pastor Harvey.  When this happened:

"Unpack, repack into his little van, a van that had some issues...issues such as when we were driving to the hostel the sliding door fell off the top hinges. That's right, the door just fell off!"

The End:  All in all, it was the best feeling to literally fall right into a real bed & stay there for 7 & ½ beautiful hours!  I was run-down, emotional, & anxious about what to do concerning my pack.  You did not want to talk to me.  It was not anything close to what we would call, "One heck of an adventure".  It was dangerous, scary, & nerve-wrecking.  & of course, we all learned a lot out of it.  I realized again, just how blessed I am.  I also saw just how much the Lord protected us from harm.  But, I am SO glad it is over with.

The Need: I am trying to raise money to replace my pack & gear that was stolen.  I do not know if all of it can be replaced, but if you want to help then write me.  A couple people already are helping & have offered.  I was actually able to pick up some clothing yesterday & toiletries, plus I am borrowing someone's tent right now, sleeping pad, & a few other things.  Please pray about it & let me know asap.  Thanks!